The Chubby Blonde

A Hangover's Not Too Complicated

2009-10-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Fuzzy socks, a warm blanket, a couple ibuprofin, Colts football and lots of water - That's the cure. Well, it works for me, anyway.

There is nothing like spending time with the people who make you laugh. Add in alcohol? It definitely makes for a night to (or a night you won't!) remember.

The night started out with my cousin and his girlfriend, a girl I've known since we were 12, and I having a bottle of wine at my condo. We met up with a friend of mine and went to see one of my best friend's, Tom's, bands play at a local bar. (He was fantastic, by the way. Loud blues and cheap beer's a great way to spend a Saturday night!) We stayed at the bar watching Tom's band for about 2 hours, and then made our way to another local bar. Like a Cheer's bar. Everybody knows your name, and the people who don't soon will. There were a bunch of local college kids and high school friends. We met up with a good friend from high school, her new boyfriend (who's now my new karaoke buddy!) and another new friend of ours.

I've never in my life closed a bar. I think I've had maybe two hangovers ever. But gosh, it was fun.

How to Get Over a Break Up...

2009-10-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I went out with some friends of mine. I need to get out of this weird slump. You know the place where you have things planned out, where you're comfortable with yourself and your relationship, and then everything is all of a sudden uncertan? The rug got pulled out from under me, and I'm still trying to find my footing. I definitely still tumble, I still trip up. The sadness just doesn't disappear; it's a process. A long process, at that.

I'm not perfect. If I sit there and think, I obsess -- What happened? What did I do? What could I have done different? I'd be lying if I said there weren't days where I couldn't get out of bed.

It's hard, but I've been working hard on trying to change my patterns. We've all done it - Break up, stay in your PJs all day with ice-cream and french-fries, watch Lifetime movies. Instead of focusing on how he made me feel, I'm trying to focus on how I can make myself feel.

Walking helps. I couldn't do it for myself at first, so I just did it because I know how much my little dog LOVES it. She goes crazy, it makes her SO happy.

I've gone from walking her around the block, to walking her to 30 minutes, to going out for 45 minutes and incorporating jogging. Every little mini-goal accomplished feels so great. For now, my goals are things like - Walk for 45 minutes, jog from this car to that stop sign, run this entire stretch of road, etc. Eventually, I will build up to jogging the whole 45 minutes.

But it's NOT FOR WEIGHT.

It's for health. It's for peace of mind. I like to eat - you don't become a size 16 because you hate food - but I've struggled with an eating disorder that I was hospitalized for, and I can't get wrapped up in food or it's just disasterous. I just know I feel better when I walk every day and eat good, whole foods.

So, there is my recipe for easing the heartbreak of a break-up. Get active. Get your friends. Get healthy. Go out, listen to music, have a drink. Your friends are there for you to lean on. Utilize what you have and take care of yourself -- Focus on how you feel instead of how he made you feel.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

2009-10-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, my boyfriend of 6 months decided he no longer wanted to be in a relationship.

We live about an hour and a half apart, and he travels a lot for his job as an entertainer, so needless to say, we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together, and the time we were together wasn't "real life." It was roadtrips, hotels, a new city every weekend. It wasn't cooking dinner and renting a DVD. It started quickly. Our first date lasted about 6 hours, and he couldn't wait 20 minutes before texting me on my drive home that he already missed me. Yep, I was that girl, I was the silly one who fell hard. And fast. I was hopelessly smitten.

His 30th birthday party was last week, and I, being the diligent and thoughtful girlfriend I thought he would appreciate, spent over a month and $200 planning a surprise birthday for him, his family, and 40-50 of his closest friends. A week before this shindig was supposed to go down, he broke up with me. Why, you ask? Great question, because I sure didn't get an answer!

Anyway, I emailed his mother to make sure she could make arrangements to get him to the party on time for the surprise, and she cancelled it. I guess she was more on my side than his and didn't think his irrational behavior should be rewarded. Go, Mom? Because I had sent out the e-vites, I had to send out the cancellation notices, too. A friend of his texted him that his surprise birthday party was cancelled.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next... Go ahead. Guess.

If you guessed he felt like a jerk, and texted me that he was sorry and that he loved me and appreciated the effort -- You're right.

So, you can see why I am still confused as to why, two days after that little conversation, was the last time I have talked to him. He ignored my one phone call and two texts (that was all I was going to give him. Why put in the effort?)

I guess this is his way of avoiding the issue and becoming single by default.

I suppose the thing that is making me feel the worst about this whole situation is the whole non-closure thing. I won't try and psychoanalyze him, because irrational and insane behavior can't be rationalized. But it still hurts.

Which is why it's so great to have amazing friends to take me out for karaoke and shots. :)

Ephiphany

2009-10-23T16:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I came to a realization: I’m a big girl… And I’m okay with that.

I’ve struggled with my weight for years. Growing up, I was an athlete who could never seem to lose the pudge. Now, I am a simple college student, living my life, loving my friends and family, working through what I have and what I want, and with a lot to say.

I used to think what I want should include a certain number on my bathroom scale or a size from the mall. It used to include a cellulite-free lower body, a double-free chin, and a bikini-worthy abdomen.

These things are silly. Sure, they could be great goals and confidence-boosters. But in the grand scheme of life, shouldn’t the things that matter be your health, your relationships, stimulating your mind, body and soul?

This blog is my new project. I’m learning to be happy with who I am, and encourage everybody, from a size 0 to a size 20, to be happy and accepting of who they are on the inside. Health and radiance should be self-created and nurtured, because when it all boils down to it, you are your own constant, best friend, always there. So it’s time to love and to take care of yourself.